Tears For Luthor
by Superfan2
Summary: Lois cries for Luthor at his burial. Remembering what was, what could have been, what will never be. Stand-alone or can be viewed as a follow-on to 'I Didn't Know'.


**Tears For Luthor**

Lois lingered after the others left Luthor's burial site. Her thoughts wandered to better times. Times Clark had told her about. Of a very young Lex Luthor and a very young Clark Kent. Growing up together in Smallville. Warm summer days spent jousting or fishing in the Swan river. Clark had painted a picture of a different Lex from the one Lois had come to know for most of the last 15 years and one who had, unexpectedly, re-emerged in the past year.

This was a Lex who was happy, loved life and was content to sit with Clark on the roof of the Kent's barn and watch the stars come out at twilight. Seeing who would first notice a shooting star. Clark and Lex had become brothers to each other – the biological brother neither had.

Clark cherished the relationship as much as Lex and it had hurt him to the core when the relationship came to an abrupt end. It happened almost immediately after Clark had moved to Metropolis and took on the role of Superman. Something had snapped in Lex when he saw the apparently close relationship Clark had with Superman. It was Clark who got most of the Superman scoops, it was Clark who wrote so effusively about this "Superman". This even as this stranger, who appeared out of nowhere, admitted in an interview with Lois Lane that he was from another planet, Krypton. That he was an alien. Clark was a farm boy, yes, but he was not stupid and Lex couldn't understand why Clark wasn't more circumspect in his writings about and dealings with the "alien".

Truth be told, Lex believed that Clark had dropped his close relationship with Lex and replaced it with one with Superman. The secrets and hopes that only brothers share with each other, that Clark and Lex had shared in their Smallville days, were no more. Clark now shared his secrets only with the alien and this infuriated Lex. This Superman had stolen Lex's brother.

Jealousy of Superman quickly turned to hate for Superman. Out of this grew Lex's vendetta against Superman. It was never about power or money, not really, it was about the loss of the brother Lex cherished and so, in turn, Lex would take Superman from Clark - by killing the "alien." Taking away Clark's new-found brother.

Clark often wondered whether, if he had not hired on at the Daily Planet, if he had kept a total distance from Superman with no visible connection, maybe things would have turned out differently. Lois would remind him in those down moments that, if he hadn't come to the Daily Planet, the two would never have met. Speculation as to what might have been was pointless now.

Still, in the early days, Clark made efforts to reconnect. Inviting Lex to dinner or a game or to come over to Clark's place and talk. Lex always refused and, over time, these efforts by Clark ceased. Once, despite knowing the danger Lex posed to him as Superman, Clark in his Superman persona made an appointment to meet with Lex in his penthouse office atop Welling Center. Hoping to clear up misunderstandings Lex had about him. Clark was pleased and a bit surprised when Lex agreed to meet Superman.

Clark's hopeful anticipation ended abruptly when, after being ushered into Lex's office, Lex removed a clasp from his ring revealing a green stone mounted on the ring. Immediately Superman gasped in pain and staggered backwards. Lex came around his desk and grabbed the weakened Superman's suit. Lex placed his hands on the 'S' shield - pulling, tugging and crunching the hated insignia as if he would be able to tear it off the alien's chest. When it wouldn't rip, he spat on it. He glared at Superman delighting as the Man of Steel gasped for breath and sweat formed in drops on his brow and began to stain the hated suit.

Pulling Superman's face close to his, staring Superman in the eyes, Lex issued a threat: "I will kill you one day alien and, if anything ever happens to Clark Kent because of you, I will kill you twice over."

With that Lex pushed Superman to the floor and had his assistants carry the weakly struggling alien to the elevator and then down to the main entrance, dumping him onto the sidewalk in front of horrified passersby while snapping photos of the downed Superman. Lex sent those photos to Clark with a note. "The alien is not who you think he is and is going behind your back. Be very careful Clark."

And so it had been for almost 15 years. Lex targeting Superman again and again. With kryptonite and increasingly powerful mega-weapons like the quantum disruptor and nano-bots. Lex prided himself on his 5 "near kills" where he had critically injured Superman and put him out of commission for weeks.

Even so, Clark, as Superman, was always careful not to hurt Lex more than necessary on the many occasions they clashed. When Lex was in prison, unknown to him, Clark made sure Lex was evaluated by the best psychiatrists. Paying himself for many of the sessions. Clark continued to hope to get through to the "brother" he still loved.

Lois didn't need to be a psychiatrist to figure out Luthor and what was going on within him. Early on, even before she knew Clark's secret, she had surmised that Lex's descent into the darkness was triggered by a void re-opening within him. Lex's mother had died when he was six and that had hurt him more than he ever let on. It had made him empty. Clark came along and filled the void. With Clark Lex had family again. Lex's belief that he had lost Clark to Superman re-opened the void. For Lex, Superman had taken his family from him.

Misconceptions had existed on all sides, things done or not done, mistakes made by each of them, Clark, Lois and Lex. And Lois had made the biggest mistake of all - one which would haunt her for her remaining days.

CJ's voice broke into Lois's introspection. He asked if he could put a flower on uncle Lex's grave. Lois smiled and walked with her son to a nearby flowerbed. CJ picked the biggest flower in bloom and he and his mother walked back one last time to the grave.

As CJ put the flower in place, Lois cried. Lois had known the void Lex had felt for so long. Unlike Lex, she had CJ to fill that void and to give her purpose and the will to carry on.

CJ took his mother's hand and Lois and her son made their way across Reeve Parkway to St. Patrick's Cathedral. Lois wasn't Roman Catholic, she wasn't even religious at all, but this place had been an abode she went to in times of sadness and sorrow. All the noises of Metropolis - sirens, street banter, horns and vendors hawking their wares - went totally silent once the Cathedral doors closed behind her.

She sat in a pew with CJ. She might have been in the middle of a forest it was so quiet and still. Light played otherworldly games throughout the Cathedral as the stained glass windows acted like prisms to the mid-afternoon sun.

Lois had been sitting a few minutes when a man entered the Cathedral and walked up to her. She turned and thanked the stranger for coming on time. Reaching into her purse, she handed him a brown envelope.

"This will be kept secret and safe until CJ decides." was all the man said.

"Thank you Bruce." Lois replied as the man turned and left the Cathedral.

By now CJ was asleep in the pew. Lois closed her eyes and felt that presence she often did here. Seemingly coming from the front of the Cathedral, it infused her with a deep peace. Lois lingered for 20 minutes drinking in that peace.

**A/N: This story takes as it's premise the relationship Clark and Lex had in the Smallville TV series. Minus the krypto-freaks. Clark experienced kryptonite a few times while in Smallville, but Lex was never aware of it. Or anything extraordinary about Clark. They were simply boyhood best friends/brothers. **

**Reviews very much appreciated!**


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